I’ve been “dieting” for as long as I can remember. Not in a chasing the latest “fad diet” way, but restricting and labeling foods. I crave control, which is ironic because binging is the most out of control experience. It’s the only time I don’t have complete control over my body and mind. Over the past year, I’ve gone months without binging. I’ve also spent weeks binging. Never fully recovered….but distracting myself enough to appear so–carefully placing band-aids if you will. My recent job triggers this cycle weekly. It’s a constant roller coaster of emotions and I’m left laying flat on my face feeling hopeless and defeated once again. Fortunately I never stay down for long so here I am, back in therapy and back sharing my journey to freedom with you.
This morning I was listening to a podcast about Intuitive Eating that inspired 3 days of telling dieting to go fuck itself (Intuitive Eating Principle #1). If you’re a chronic dieter, this might sound absolutely horrifying. Personally, I’ve reached a point where I’m willing to try just about anything. And I was curious. What would happen if I just ate what I wanted? And what does that even look like? I reasoned that anyone could do something for a day. And on day two, you only have one more day to go. Surely, I was strong enough to do this.
On Saturday morning, I will share the entire experience. By Sunday, I hope to be onto Principle #2: Honor Your Hunger.